Teen Put Newborn in Trash Bag After Giving Birth

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This situation is one reason why we need to remove the social stigma of adoption in our society. This young woman obviously was in major denial, but if someone could have offered her the option of adoption and helped her to see that adoption could have provided a win/win situation for herself and her baby, the outcome could have been so different. Instead everyone loses.

The "safe harbor" idea, while well-intentioned, takes away the mother's role in planning for her child's future proactively, and continues to victimize the children by leaving them without any social and medical history and so without any way to connect with a birth family in the future. Rather than helping a woman manage her pregnancy crisis with courage and forethought, it sends the message that only "good" mothers "keep" their children or solve their pregnancy "problem" via abortion, while "bad" mothers must leave their children, under cover of darkness, at some random hospital or fire station and slink away into the night. It is as though admitting that parenting right now is not the right choice for them is the unpardonable sin, and that abortion is just a sad but necessary choice. Is anyone else blown away by this illogical thinking?

Abortion is promoted and women who choose it are heralded as having successfully handled a major life crisis with great love for themselves and their blobs of tissue. Yet women who proactively make adoption plans are shamed and have their "love" for their baby questioned. As a birth mother myself, I was often asked, "How could you have possibly given your baby away?' My answer is this: "I did not 'give my baby away.' I planned for his future by choosing adoption, and I did it for his good. I did not throw him in the garbage or put him out on the lawn with a 'for sale sign' or drop him off somewhere hoping that someone would care for him. I planned for him. I am proud (not in a haughty way) of my decision to choose adoption, and I will not allow anyone to shame me for it. I am grateful to and proud of every birth parent who has had the courage to choose adoption for their children."

It is so bizarre to me that I have never once had anyone challenge my decision to have three abortions prior to giving birth to my birth son. I have never once had anyone ask me, "How could you possibly have paid somebody money to kill your baby? How could you possibly have allowed them t0 throw your babies in the garbage or flush them down the drain?" It is unacceptable in 2010 that we applaud women who abort and deride women who choose adoption. We need to de-stigmatize adoption and re-stigmatize abortion!

If this Nevada teen had just quietly aborted her child, she would have suffered the loss of her baby in private. But now she will suffer the loss of her baby in the most ugly public way--in the court of public opinion and in the media. People will begin to say, "If only she would have had an abortion, her life could have been ok." There is no guarantee that her life would have been ok. Now, she has drawn us into her crisis, by making us face the death of a child head on. We don't like it when people "murder" in public; it makes us uncomfortable because it is so real.

Before we judge her in the court of public opinion, or anywhere for that matter, those of us who have aborted for convenience sake should ask ourselves,"How are we different from her?" Oh, we paid someone else to do it and we did it in private, so that makes perfect sense! Really? Where is the line between a choice and a crime? Can the same courts that uphold a woman's right to "choose" also be used to "convict" a woman of the death of her child at the moment of birth. Is her crime a crime? Or is her crime the fact that she did not pay an abortionist to do the job for her and and that she did it in a very public, messy way?

It is all so sad, her life is changed, the baby is dead, and her family is being besieged with media wanting to know WHY? The media should leave the poor girl alone and go to the abortion mills and ask every women coming out after an abortion, WHY? The answers would most likely be financial reasons or relationship problems or rarely, medical issues. Then they should go and stand outside hospitals as birth parents leave after placing their newborns in the arms of adoptive parents, and ask WHY? The answer would most often be,"Because we love our child."

Self or sacrifice? Two completely different ends of the spectrum, which will we serve? Praying for this young women and her family is the best we can do. I hope we can learn something from this tragedy.