Adoption Council of Minnesota Needs Your Stories

AOCM will be launching their "30 Stories in 30 Days" effort on Monday. The goal is to post one adoption story for each of the 30 days of November, which is adoption awareness month. The stories will appear in the Minnesota Loves Adoption online scrapbook.

Would you be willing to submit your story to us for publication in the scrapbook? We've encouraged many people to share their stories, so we have a few to work with before we really start promoting the program. The story only needs to be 500 words or less, and it can have a picture with it or even be a poem about your experience. We also want stories from family or friends who have walked through an adoption experience with someone. You can submit your story anonymously or share your name if you so choose.

You can read more about the 30/30 effort by visiting minnesotalovesadoption.org.

Birthmother Dinner

I would like to invite any birthmothers to a special dinner on Friday, May 6th at 7:00 p.m. in Roseville, MN.

If you would like to come, please call me at 763-533-8642 ext. 2, and I can give you more details. This dinner is my treat for any birthmothers, no matter how long ago you made an adoption plan for your child. Space is limited, so please let me know by this Thursday, April 14th.

Thanks! I hope you can come!

We need adoption stories!

“Minnesota Loves Adoption”

living scrapbook of adoption love stories in Minnesota

In celebration of adoption, the Adoption Option Council of Minnesota* (AOCM) is creating an online, living scrapbook that will capture those life-changing stories of love that define adoption in our state. This special project will help all Minnesotans better understand adoption as an act of love.

The “Minnesota Loves Adoption” scrapbook will open on Mother’s Day 2011 and will be recognized in many ways throughout the year. Please help AOCM celebrate adoption by encouraging people to share their adoption love stories. Specifically, the scrapbook stories will:

 Capture adoption journeys -- in stories, letters, poems and photos -- of Minnesotans.

 Celebrate domestic adoption stories (children born in the United States).

 Share stories of birth families, grandparents, adopted persons, adoptive families, friends and supporters.

 Reflect on how adoption has had a positive impact on the lives of individuals, families and communities. To submit a story, please keep in mind:

 Each adoption story is unique and emotionally powerful, including joy, pain, delight and grief. Please share your story honestly, in your own words, keeping a focus on the loving outcomes and the positive impression you want to share with others who may consider adoption in the future.

 Keep your story to about 300 words long and include photos and/or a short video clip. Only your first name will be used unless otherwise requested.

 Submit your information to jenny@aoci.org. It will be reviewed and formatted to fit the scrapbook.

 You will be asked to sign a consent form, giving AOCM permission to share your story.

*Formerly known as the Adoption Option Committee Inc.

Adoption Option: Inquiring Minds Want to Know

On Thursday we spoke to two classes at Cooper High School regarding the Adoption Option. The students had great questions for our speakers; there were four birth moms and one adoptive mom who shared their stories. We usually get two questions from the students after we speak:

The first is, "Once you make an adoption plan, can you ever get your baby back if you regret your decision?"

Our answer: "No, we can't get our babies back because adoption is a legal severing of the parental rights of the biological parents from the child. Our hearts are always going to be connected to our children but we would be harming the child if, after a few years, we decided we wanted the child back and tried to remove him or her from the only family they had ever known. That WOULD be selfish! What many of us regret is the choices we made that got us pregnant before we were prepared for the responsibility of raising a child."

The second question is, "Don't you think you were selfish for making an adoption plan?"

To this question we respond: "Adoption is an unselfish act by loving birthparents who sacrificially put the needs of the child above their own desire to 'keep' the baby. As a birth parent, the 'easy' thing to do emotionally is to take the baby home with you; the hard thing to do is to walk out of the hospital without your baby, knowing that someone else will be enjoying your child. No birthparent leaves the hospital without tears, but because we love our babies and want what is best for them, we choose to take the emotional and often societal 'beating' that comes with it. All parenting choices require sacrifice whether you are actively parenting or whether you choose to have someone else parent your child through adoption. The only 'selfish' choice would be to parent the child and not put your life in order so the child has the best future possible. Babies are not possessions to be owned; they are responsibilities to be cared for in the best way possible. As one of our speakers says, "I did not give my baby away; I gave her more."

When possible, I point out that Christ died on the cross, sacrificially, so that we could be 'adopted' by God. When Christ willingly went to the cross, He experienced great pain on our behalf and for our good. While birth parents are not saviors, the pain we experience is both chosen and experienced for the good of our children.

There is more to be said, but those are the short answers!

NYTimes.com: The Unborn Paradox

I have often thought, "What would happen if all the babies aborted each day were placed in a large pile and shown on the nightly news in the city where they were aborted?"

This will never happen because we are not “comfortable” seeing what the result of our “choice” does to unborn children. We want the choice, but we must continue to dehumanize the “object” of that choice in order to legitimize it. We publicize other tragedies that result in loss of life, why keep this one under wraps? We see the results of child abuse and cringe. We cry, "Foul!" when animals are harmed by their owners. Yet we don’t want to look at the “unseen” aborted children who are terminated--not just scarred or emotionally damaged-- but TERMINATED!

Today, women who are older and want to start families struggle with infertility for many reasons. Who knows how many of them aborted pregnancies earlier in their lives thinking that there would always be another chance! Some may have never aborted, but due to the use of chemical birth control or other factors, they are now on a quest for that elusive child.

Sadly, as Ross Douthat, author of the attached NYTimes.com article points out, only 1% of babies are available for adoption and one in five pregnancies ends in abortion. Babies that are a “throw-away” burden for one group are now a hot commodity for another.

I wish that the “self-preserving” act of abortion would be relegated to a cultural taboo and that the “selfless” act of adoption would be elevated to cultural heroism! It will never happen, but one can dream. The law of supply and demand needs to apply here: those who don’t want to be parents need to connect with those who do. Problem solved!

Thank You, Adoption Panel Speakers!

“We always thank God for all of you, remembering you constantly in our prayers. We recall, in the presence of our God and Father, your work of faith, labor of love, and endurance of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.”
I Thessalonians 1:2-3

We spoke at Totino Grace High School, Fridley, this a.m about the option of adoption. I am thankful for our speakers who share from their hearts about building their families through adoption.

Little Voices for Life

from WorldMag.com
by Janie B. Cheaney

The longtime host of Weekend Edition on NPR, Scott Simon, occasionally pens an editorial for The Wall Street Journal. His latest, published Dec. 17, addresses a timeless issue: “The Case for Adoption.”

“This is the season that begins with the story of a couple who wanted a baby,” Simon writes. His opening sentence earns no points for biblical insight, but Simon’s personal experience of wanting a baby is deeply felt. He married late, and he and his wife discovered quickly that they were not able to conceive. They considered assisted fertilization, but as well-traveled individuals they knew first-hand that there are plenty of orphans needing homes. They adopted Elise from Nanchang, China, when she was 11 months old. Six years later they returned for Lina. While he faults no couples or pregnant women for the personal choices they make, he wants to promote an option that has been deeply satisfying for him, his wife, and their daughters. That’s the reason for his latest book, Baby We Were Meant For Each Other: In Praise of Adoption.

I’m very glad the Simons made their decision—but not just because it was so fulfilling for them. Without saying a word, the two little girls make a powerful statement. Their story reminds me of another adoption story I heard several years ago at a fund-raising dinner for the local crisis pregnancy center.

Read the rest of the article here.

The beauty of adoption

Fun visit with my birth son and his family! March 14th, 28 years ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and released him into an open adoption. The beauty of open adoption is that we have had contact throughout his life, and this year we were invited to his birthday celebration! Here is a picture of me, Nick, and his adoptive mom, Jean.

This past weekend I went with a client of mine, who recently made an open adoption plan for her son, for a visit with her adoptive family and baby boy. She gave me permission to share the picture below with you all. What a blessing to walk through this process with this young woman! Please pray for her as she is now going to school and working hard to put her life in order. God is at work!

The Option of Adoption

Check out this website for teens to help them consider the option of adoption. Many women say to me, "I could never make an adoption plan for my baby, so I will have an abortion." Help us spread the word about a better option.

In the Know is a new informational campaign dedicated to providing teens with unbiased, straightforward information about adoption. The campaign is the initiative of the Adoption Option Committee, Inc., a 22-year-old Minnesota nonprofit organization. The goal is to make sure teenagers have all the information they need to make decisions that are right for them if they or their friends experience an unintended pregnancy, without pressure or guilt. In the Know equips teens with the resources and information through brochures, posters, speaker panels, and an interactive web site: http://www.itkteens.org/.